Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
