Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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