so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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