my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
