a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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