Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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