you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
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I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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