if i died would you start the facebook group?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
