im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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