i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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