Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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