I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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