Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
