Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
