You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
