cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we're so committed to being not committed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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