Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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