He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
