ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
