Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
