ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
