weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
