I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
