Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I wear drunk well.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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