do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
