you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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