i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize