I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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