Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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