we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
