3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
