I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
