I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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