We're facebook friends in real life
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
