If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
