Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
