We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
