i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
