all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
