so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
