I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
