I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
