Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
