Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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