think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
