so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
