so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
