i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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