I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
