i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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