And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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