Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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