how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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