I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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