He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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