toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize