he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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