Do you still have your period?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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