Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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